Last Wednesday night gathering in the Guesthouse
Ears closed, Heart open.
The worship music is so loud… The bass is booming… the speakers are probably going to give out soon, pretty sure that’s not good for them. Oh! But the vocals in the song are nice to hear, I guess. I always like the vocals in songs.
And yet, I notice something refreshing. I feel calm. Its easier to feel, its easier to “think.”The irony is that in the midst of such loud, blaring noise, I can find a quiet stillness to listen and reflect. The music drowns out the world. The loudness muffles all those noisy stressful thoughts. It calms my spirit and allows me to finally…rest.
With my surroundings being too loud for my mind to hear, my heart can finally listen. It’s nice, you know, when my heart can finally do the listening every once in a while.
It’s nice, this peace. God’s perfect peace. It doesn’t have to look a certain way. It doesn’t have to feel a certain way. It just comes and goes and I’m grateful to be graced with such peace, it calms my worries and gives me rest.
Inspired from the Bottom of My Heart
I sat by, just watching what was going around me. It’s so inspiring to see a guy just down on his face worshipping a God he can’t see. It boggles my mind when a girl has her eyes scrunched closed, almost crying and praying to a God who doesn’t always speak back. I want a person like this somewhere in my life. A best friend, a sibling, a lover. I need this sort of inspiration daily. This faith that they have… Why does it inspire me so much?
It doesn’t simply impress me— it lights up my heart and in the rawest sense: it inspires my spirit. The purest form of what motivates me and gives me passion. Whatever heaviness I have in my heart, is swept away in one motion when I see another guy or girl, simply seeking after something bigger than them. Seeking a higher power, their creator, a God figure… Is this a form of love? Are they in love with their God? Is this like the way my heart sings out to the girl I’m in love with? Can I relate?
The earnest, relentless pursuit of reaching out to the creator of this world. Where do these people get the audacity!? Can I get it too? Can I be surrounded by this? When I see a person after God’s own heart…it stirs a part of me, a part of me that was also created to seek God, a part of me that was meant to search and search and search until a perfect love fills it. God’s perfect love maybe?
How does a man humble himself so low to be crying out, eyes closed and worshipping a God above who he can’t see? In front of everyone, he looks so desperate, so vulnerable and dependent. And yet why do I want this for myself as well? Why do I want to also prostrate myself and just cry out so desperately to a God above?
Why is it so easy to simply say the words of surrendering to a God but to actually give myself to God? I can’t strain hard enough, I can’t close my eyes hard enough or cry out loud enough to give myself completely.
I believe that God loves me so much that he placed these desires inside of me so that I would always want to seek him, the dude who gives perfect peace. He wants me to find that perfect peace and he’s smiling down on me, just pleased that I simply am. He’s pleased that I simply exist and he wants only the best for me. At the end of the day, I’m grateful for such a God and want to know him more.