I believe our lives are made up moments…moments of strength and moments of weakness. Moments of broken and moments of whole. As one moment flows into the next, a beautiful picture is created. As I think about pursuing God as a single woman in my early thirties…I think about letting Him meet me and fill me.
And then I ask Him “How Lord?”
Sometimes the Holy Spirit floors me with conviction…leaving me no choice but to be broken and changed in the span of a breathe.
Other times…it’s a slow simmer. Heat is added, and increased, things start to move and bubble I can’t help but want more of Him.
This has been a slow simmer kind of season.
He is whispering in my heart…
Listen, daughter…and pay close attention. Forget your people and your father’s house. The King is enthralled by your beauty; honor Him for He is your Lord. (Psalm 45:10-11)
I read the verse about two months ago…but only now is He unraveling its’ truth in my heart.
Through it, he is whispering…daughter…I give you permission. I give you permission to look in the mirror and wonder if you singleness is because of the image you see staring back at you. But I invite you daughter, to return your eyes to me…and know that I am enthralled by your beauty.
I give you permission my daughter, to acknowledge your past and the damage that has been done…but I invite you. Let me place my hands upon you and heal you…let me show you that you are a new creation, and that though your sins have been as red as scarlet; you are as white as snow. Let me show you that not one is worthy, but still, I choose you. I do not think you unworthy of a husband. But it’s up to you to walk in that truth. One step my child, one step.
I give you permission, daughter, to fight me. To try and perform for me…to try and put your life together in a way that will earn you what you think you need and deserve. But I invite you child, to know and trust the truth that I am, and always will be enough.
I will allow you, daughter, to become distracted by the world…to focus your efforts on becoming “Holy” to attract a man. You are well intentioned my child…but you are missing the point. Honor me, my child, for I am Your Lord.
My sweet child, I know you feel pressure to fill your time with ministry …to dull the pain or to convince yourself and others that you are worthy. I invite you child…to more. I ask you to be vulnerable with your wounds…allow me to change them into scars, and I will use your life to build my Kingdom.
You have a vital role to play.
My darling , I know that you have moments of doubt…I saw the smile you placed upon your lips as you held that baby in your arms… that child that is not yours. I know tears that rolled down your face as you lay your head down that night. It is Ok, I know pain too. Let me into those hopes, dreams and prayers. But my child, I may not show you the answer right away. I will give you all you need…
But I will ask you to trust.
Trust that I know you and I Love you. That I see you and hear you.
Trust that I believe you have an irreplaceable role to play in the story of My Kingdom.
That I have chosen you, and set you apart for a purpose.
That I died for you. FOR YOU.
Trust that that will be true… regardless of your earthly relationship status, now and forever.
And know that when you trust me, you are brave, so very brave.
I hope you do, because I love you so.
* A special thank you to those who opened their heart to me, sharing your own love story with their God. You are beautiful.